A poem that I wrote

From Friday, October 31st 2008 7:55pm...whenever I write something I always not the day and time. I'm not sure why?

its hard to share property with the army
they own your rights
i have your heart
it takes alot of courage will and might
for you and i to be apart
maybe im not so strong but i want to be im trying to be
its flusters me and makes me cry
its not always you its also me
its hard for me to know that you dont trust me 100%
i really need that to get through this stress
and i think it would also lessen yours
were still getting to know each other
and i want no part of me to be a mystery
i dont think that means we should be able to read each others minds
but it would better allow for our love not to be smothered
tell me how youre feeling
let me know exactly what your thinking
it may hurt but it needs to be said
and i promise to do the same
i dont want to hurt you when i say something i may be thinking
it may be stupid or obsurd or just a thought that has crossed my mind
i think love is like a burning flame
it feeds on oxygen
and when we use so much breath through negative words it makes the flame flicker and sway
i want it to always be burning strong
maybe that wont always happen but i will always stay
i only want to be married once
thats all ive ever wanted and thats all i ever intended
when the flames energy supply is cut off its suffocating our love
i am proud to be an army spouse
i am now part of the army
i think it was bound to happen for me that way
i could never have joined so i married into it
i want to learn about it i want to understand it i want to support you
i love you
but the army owns you
i dont want to fight with the army in you but better function in a type of co-existence with it as best as i can
i believe in you and your decisions
i am with you for the long haul
change is hard
especially quick change
i think im having a hard time dealing with change
but i love change
im always ready and eager for more
maybe im always looking for change or new ways to do things
trying to be constructive and innovative and creative
i think i get my points across better in metaphor
i like to sit and contemplate so that when i do say something it comes out just the way i want it with just the right meaning
i dont mean to ignore you or not respond to you i just want to tell you accurately how im feeling or thinking
i dont want to insult you with it i want you to understand me, really understand me
you said youself that you dont understand every part of me
i dont understand every part of myself
i have this yearning to want to know everything about something
i dont have a very good, concentrated focus and my mind wanders and wonders
its weird cuz i also fear change, and that change may be bad
every experience in life changes me, even simple things
im constantly trying to learn things
i think i dont let myself learn that way though, and ill take the same approach twice unknowingly
i have a long fused temper
im patient and understanding or will do my best to understand anyways trough my own experiences
i love affection and little things like coke slushies and holding hands
i love touch and warmth
did i menyion how much i like affection
even though sea turtles may not be so soft and snuggly
i value your honesty and integrity and need to be protective
maybe i dont always accept it out of my own pride and dignity
but were married
i want to know you inside out
upside down
sideways
vertically
horizontally
backwards
and every way
i want you to experience more happiness and more joy each day
you make me whole
you are the bees knees
yhe cats pajamas
the apple of my eye
were good together like peanut buter and jelly
i like odd combinations of food
i get walked on like a floor mat sometimes
other times i welcome people like you into my heart and soul
your polite
you put down the toilet seat and wipe your feet and take off yoiur shoes before stepping on my mat
i hope this mat makes some people realize that theyre not polite when they walk on it
maybe not now but someday i can hope
im philosophical and like abstract conversations and ideas
i feed on ways to describe things better to make my own sense of them
i communicate best through written word
i love communication and effective communication
im open minded and my ears are always open and my eyes always wandering looking seeking discovering observing
maybe im just easily distracted
i think i was put on this earth just for you and you only
i want you to know that i am only yours in a way no one else will ever experience
i may exchange words or thouhgts or have common experiences with others but thats doesnt change me belonging to you
i dont want you to be my property but my home
home is where the heart is, the say who ever the hell they is, i may never know
i think were doing some things a little out of order
i think that makes it a little more difficult for us
and for others to understand
but when things get completed it will only get better
and well have more order and direction
i like talking to myself like this
but at the same time im conveying so much to you
my heart pounds harder and faster when i know youre not feeling balanced and that were misunderstanding each other
i think maybe alot of things we say are miscommunicated and what we mean is misinterpreted
i have a quick relapse rate
i dont like to linger
i like moving forward and onward and to the future
to the unknown
its scares me sometimes but yet its thrilling
the possibilites
i want to make you proud
i want what we are to be ours
no one elses
i think the first years are going to be the most difficult
i think we are going to struggle to hang on
i need to tighten my grip
i need to be stronger for all of this
sometimes i think you need to be a little softer
i know you are but you want to be strong for me and show me how to be strong
but i like knowing that your softer too
you fit part of my puzzle of life perfectly
but now we have to find the rest of the pieces of our puzzle together
it will take a lifetime to create a masterpiece
well stare and stare at the puzzle sometimes just baffled
other times well be dazzled with excitement and our eyes will sparkle together
well build bridges togehter
some will be more sturdy than others
well go through different seasons
and maybe some drought
but some will be plentiful and bountiful
sometimes its better to not talk but just try to feel
and be one entity
you are you
i am me
but together we are we
sometimes i may not hear
sometimes i will only see
sometime i will taste
othertimes im unable to smell
but i always want to feel
tell me if im not hearing
tell me what i shouldnt see
let me know what i don't want to taste
but i always want to smell the seasons
lets always let each other know our senses
lets go to a place and describe how all of our senses feel one by one
and experience energy together
its powerful
i never want to hurt you
i promise i will never be unfaithful
i promise
i promise
i promise
i never want to be un- anything
i will always be loyal
i will always be here for you
talk to me
just talk and talk and talk
i love listening
i think im always searching for a key to open your mind
a sight that will open your eyes
a smell that you will never forget
a touch that will make you shiver
a sound that will make you want to close your eyes and float away with and follow
a taste that will remind you of everything good
savor moments
i like to take time to do things to put a lot of thought and meaning into
maybe im a procrastinator but i just want it to be unexpectedly suprising and good and perfect
im slightly a perfectionist
im an unorganized organizational freak
id do anything for you
i might not say it then at that time but i will
i dont like spite
i dont like to feel enclosed
im claustrophobic
physically mentally and emotionally
i like being sporadic
i like being playful and out of line
i like being silly
i like indulging
i love you moo
i love me too
but most of all i love we three
lets make a baby